Author: Kristen

The secret to peace and freedom: delayering

The secret to peace and freedom: delayering

 

A baby comes into the world as a pure soul with no layers.

For example, they don’t have any mind chatter or inner self-talk telling them they should or shouldn’t do or say something. They don’t have thoughts telling them they are not worthy or good enough.

We are all born pure souls and then we become layered with our life experiences
and messages we have received from our caregivers, families, friends, peers,
school, co-workers, and bosses and so on. If we have any traumatic experiences, it
can reshape how we think, feel and see ourselves.

When we begin to delayer our negative self-talk and move through the pain of the
past, we experience freedom, peace and happiness.

We become more of who we are at the core.

Here’s how to begin that process of delayering:

 

  1. List ten words to describe you.Think back to when you were a little boy or girl. What were you like? What did you like to do? What brought the most joy to your life?
  2. Write a timeline of life events. Start from your earliest childhood memories. What are the most impactful experiences or events in your life both positive and more difficult memories? How did they shape who you are? What did you learn from them? How did it shape who you are?
  3. Let go of secrets. Whatever is most difficult for you to talk about, may be most important for your healing. Find someone safe or a professional to work through these feelings or memories that you might not have been allowed to talk about. Shame and guilt can keep us from living in the present. It keeps us stuck. We might not realize this is where it comes from until we unlock what has been buried so deep. Freedom comes when we no longer have to hold on to the past. This step is essential because it covers up who we are and how we show up in relationships.
  4. Begin to look within. When we understand ourselves, we are empowered to not live by what others think or by our past. Notice how you feel and trust yourself to make decisions that are best for you. When we speak our truth and communicate how we feel without expectations in return, we begin to connect to who we are. We remove the layers and blocks that no longer serve us.

You are worthy and meant to be here for a purpose.

When we remove the layers, we see clearly who we were created to be.

Are you sleep walking through your life?

Are you sleep walking through your life?

 

 

Do you feel stuck in a rut and doing the same old thing? So many people feel exactly the same way.

You may not feel fulfilled with your life or hopeless that things can be different.

When you start working on yourself, you will see your life and the world with a different set of lenses. It really does shift your life in a way you might not think was possible. You may be seeing things through distorted or foggy lenses now and not living in the present.

Once you begin the journey of working on your issues, you will begin separating your issues from others’ and not take things as personally or reacting to what others say so quickly. It gives you a sense of freedom, peace and joy you may not have experienced before.

How do you begin to wake up and live in the present? Below are some quick steps to start the process.

  1. Write a vision statement.Start writing about what you want and feel passionate about. What are things you dream about or love to do? When do you feel alive and fulfilled? What have you always wanted to do and your negative self-talk has kept you from pursuing it?

    Once you have your vision statement, post it on your mirror, wall or someplace you will see it daily.

  2. Make a vision board.If you have trouble with your vision statement, start making your vision board first. This will help you gain clarity. Cut out pictures from magazines and paste them onto the board.

    You can include places you would like to travel to, a job you might dream of doing, inspirational people and words, quotes or anything motivational. Hang this up and look at it regularly.

  3. Determine your blocks.Start exploring your blocks to waking up and being present. Is there a past issue or trauma you haven’t dealt with that needs to be worked through and removed as an obstacle?

    Do you have some beliefs or negative thoughts that play in your head as tapes?

    For example, you may believe, “I am not good enough. I am different. I have to be perfect. I am not worthy or unimportant.” It’s important to explore these and where they first started so you can work through them and learn how to shift these into positive self-statements.

  4. Trust and believe you can make a change.Do you feel hopeless to make a change? No matter what has happened in your life or how old you are, it is absolutely possible to change and have more peace and joy. It takes a commitment to working on you and setting things into motion by taking some daily action. It’s all about changing your thoughts and behaviors.

Do you feel hopeless to make a change? No matter what has happened in your life or how old you are, it is absolutely possible to change and have more peace and joy. It takes a commitment to working on you and setting things into motion by taking some daily action. It’s all about changing your thoughts and behaviors.

Do it today!

5 things to try when you don’t feel “good enough”

5 things to try when you don’t feel “good enough”

 

Do you look outside of yourself to feel better, and get a sense of “worthiness” or belonging?

Do you ever think “If I just looked better/make more money/have a bigger house/lose weight/drive a nicer car, I would be happier and feel good enough?”

We live in a society that places value on appearance, material items, how much money we make and the cars we drive.

We look outside of ourselves for worth and value, and the problem is, this truly is a black hole and a moving target. It ends up being an empty well that never gets filled up.

Everyone wants to feel like we matter, and we are loved and important.

That’s why worthiness does not come from outside of you. It is an inside job.

If we spent more time looking deeper within, we can start to explore the blocks preventing us from feeling worthy.

Are you ready to dig deeper?

Below are a few steps to begin working on stepping more into feeling better about who you are.

  1. Notice your pattern. What are you doing to gain worthiness? Are you placing a high value on external things or your image? Awareness is the first step to changing it. We can’t change what we don’t see.
  2. Identify your negative beliefs. What are the beliefs you have about yourself? “I am not good enough,” “I am stupid,” “I am ugly,” and “I am a failure,” are all common. These are statements that keep you from believing you are worthy. They keep you stuck. However, when we identify them, we can begin to change them.
  3. Change your self-talk. This truly does make a difference. Start telling yourself, “I am smart. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I matter.” No one else is going to do this for us. We are our own worst enemy sometimes. We treat ourselves like dirt, which brings us down. We need to be lifting ourselves up.
  4. Create meaningful connections. Research shows that when we have meaningful connections (even just one), then we feel more valued, loved and worthy. Step out of your comfort zone to reach out and make deeper conversations with others. Get curious about who they are and what they feel passionate about.
  5. Ask for help and support. Many of us learned growing up that it is weak to ask for help. It’s actually the opposite. It represents strength and courage. A support network is essential to healing and growth. It starts by reaching out. You are worth it!

 

Need some help working through these beliefs?

I encourage you to check out my FREE gift to you The Close the Chapter Journal, a gentle 5-day journey to help you work through your emotions and cycles, and open the door to what’s next. Find it at the top or bottom of any page on my site!