When Anxiety Runs Your Life: Practical Tools to Heal and Reclaim Peace

Do you ever feel like you are running on empty, your mind racing, your body heavy, and your heart just plain tired? You are not alone.

Anxiety is everywhere. It is in our newsfeeds, in our homes, in our conversations, and for so many of us, living inside us. We are carrying the weight of constant change, uncertainty, and sometimes sadness over what has been lost along the way. It is exhausting.

And yet, you showed up here. That matters. It tells me something so important about you. You want to grow. You want to heal. You are willing to look within and take steps toward change. That is how hope begins.

Anxiety Is Not Just in Your Head

Anxiety does not always look like panic attacks or shaking hands. Sometimes it is subtle. It is the fear of being late. The fear of rejection. The fear of what people think. It is the knot in your stomach before you walk into a meeting, or the restless feeling that keeps you awake at night. And often, it shows up when we are facing transitions, carrying sadness, or moving through grief we have not fully named.

Many people do not always recognize anxiety for what it is. It can be easy to label it as stress, pressure, or even “just who I am.” Yet often, underneath anxiety lives unprocessed grief, fear, sadness, or the deep belief that we are not enough. These hidden layers settle into the nervous system and shape how we feel day to day.

Naming it, naming both the fear and the grief, can be the beginning of freedom.

We Are Living Through a Mental Health Crisis

The numbers reflect what so many of us are feeling. Before the pandemic, about 8.6 percent of adults reported anxiety. By 2021, that number rose to nearly 37 percent. Depression rates have more than quadrupled. And our kids are struggling, especially teens who are navigating huge life transitions in a world that feels uncertain.

This is more than stress. What we are living through is a collective trauma, and it is important to acknowledge that. Collective trauma touches every part of us — our bodies, our minds, and even our sense of safety in the world. Giving ourselves permission to name it is not a sign of weakness, it is a step toward healing.

When we pretend to be “fine,” we stay stuck in survival mode, carrying the weight silently. But when we tell the truth about our anxiety, about the heaviness we feel, we create space to process it. That honesty opens the door to compassion, connection, and the hope of something different.

What You Do Not Name, You Pass On

Anxiety has a way of spilling over into the people we love. If we don’t tend to it in ourselves, we can unintentionally pass it on to our children, our partners, and those around us. Even if we try to keep it hidden, others can feel it in our presence, in the tension in our bodies, or in the way we respond when stress rises.

When anxiety isn’t named or worked through, it doesn’t go away. It often gets stored in the body and nervous system. Over time, it can quietly shape how we think about ourselves, how we feel in everyday situations, and how we connect in our relationships.

Once you begin naming and tending to your anxiety with compassion, everything can shift. You loosen its grip. You stop the cycle from continuing. And you model to the people around you that it is possible to live with more calm, more connection, and more freedom.

Practical Tools for Calming Anxiety

When fear, overwhelm, or restlessness rise up, here are a few simple ways to care for yourself in the moment:

• Ground yourself. Place your feet firmly on the floor. Breathe deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Look around and name five things you see, hear, and feel.
• Cool your system. Hold ice in your hand, splash cold water on your neck, or step outside for fresh air. This can help calm your nervous system when it feels overwhelmed.
• Write it out. Journaling gives you space to release your fears, worries, and thoughts so you don’t carry them silently inside.
• Move your body. Walk, stretch, practice yoga, or even dance in your kitchen. Movement helps release stored emotions.
• Shift your language. Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” try, “I feel anxious.” This small change reminds you that your feelings are real, but they are not the whole of who you are.

And most importantly, speak to yourself with compassion. Whisper the words you long to hear, “I am doing the best I can. It’s okay to feel this way. I am safe. I am not alone.”

These practices may seem simple, yet when done consistently, they begin to calm your nervous system and remind you that you are safe. Healing anxiety happens in small, steady steps. Each time you pause to ground yourself, breathe deeply, or speak kindly to your heart, you’re moving toward more peace, more strength, and more freedom.

- Kristen D Boice M.A., LMFT, EMDR Trained

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