2.3 BLOG

Uncovering pain opens the door to authenticity


What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you like what you see on the inside and out? Do you feel stuck? Do you carry around pain, hurt or trauma that you have buried for years that affect how you see yourself? Do you look to others to feel better about yourself?

Not many people can say they truly love themselves. They spend so much of their energy keeping their feelings under lock and key because they are afraid others will not like them or think less of them if they show who they really are.

Often the pain of carrying around the hurt or dislike for ourselves manifests physically.  Our bodies absorb the emotions since they have been stuffed for so long. Some people cover the hurt with layers such as eating, drinking, shopping, smoking, or whatever else you have used to keep the feelings at bay. 

Once you stop the cycle of covering your feelings, you can begin to really know who you are. Feelings truly are our guides in life and teach us about whom we are.  Authenticity comes when you give up trying to live your life so others will like you and start being who you are in all situations. You start by letting go of the thought that our worth is tied to what others think and get centered in knowing your boundaries, triggers, passion and, most importantly, your purpose.

When you do not seek or need other people’s approval, you are at your most powerful. We give away our power when we worry about what someone might think of us. Compromising who you are and covering up how you feel to gain the approval of another is an example of giving away part of your spirit. 

Here are some helpful tips to move through pain and live your life with authenticity and meaning: 

  • Check in with how you feel and what you are thinking. Then try saying what you feel and think more often even if you think someone else isn’t going to like it. It might be something they need to know or hear.
  • Look at what you use to manage your feelings. Do you have healthy or unhealthy coping strategies?
  • Explore your passions and discover your purpose. What gets you excited? What do you feel passionate about?  Your passion often leads to your purpose. 

The more you look within and discover your worth and value, the more you will be comfortable in your own skin and being your authentic self. 



-Kristen D Boice M.A., LMFT,EMDR, Trained

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