5 Things To Try When You Don't Feel Good Enough | 12.28.2021

Do you look outside of yourself to feel better and get worthiness? Do you think if I look better, make more money, have a bigger house, lose weight, drive a nicer car, I would be happier and feel good enough? We live in a society that places value on appearance, material items, how much money we make and the cars we drive. We look outside of ourselves for worth and value. This truly is a black hole and a moving target. It ends up being an empty well that never gets filled up.

Everyone wants to feel like we matter, we are loved and important. Worthiness does not come from outside of you. It is an inside job. It has to come from within. If we spent more time looking deeper within, we can start to explore the blocks preventing us from feeling worthy. 

Are you ready to dig deeper? Below are a few steps to begin working on stepping more into feeling better about who you are. 

1. Notice your pattern. What are you doing to gain worthiness? Are you placing a high value on external things or your image? Awareness is the first step to changing it. We can’t change what we don’t see. 
2. Identify your negative beliefs. What are the beliefs you have about yourself? I am not good enough. I am stupid. I am ugly. I am a failure. These are statements that keep you from believing you are worthy. It keeps you stuck. When we identify them, we can begin to change them. 
3. Change your self-talk. This truly does make a difference. Start telling yourself, “I am smart. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I matter.” No one else is going to do this for us.  We are our own worst enemy sometimes. We treat ourselves like dirt, which brings us down. We need to be lifting ourselves up. 
4. Create meaningful connections. Research shows that when we have meaningful connections (even just one), then we feel more valued, loved and worthy. Step out of your comfort zone to reach out and make deeper conversations with others. Get curious about who they are and what they feel passionate about. 
5. Ask for help and support. Many of us learned growing up that it is weak to ask for help. It’s actually the opposite. It represents strength and courage. A support network is essential to healing and growth.  It starts by reaching out. You are worth it! 

-Kristen D Boice M.A., LMFT, EMDR Trained

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