What Are You Lying About? | 11.16.2021

Are you honest with yourself? Do you lie to others? Have you been asked to lie by keeping secrets? Have you told part of the truth but not everything? Do you ever find yourself exaggerating the truth for the attention or a better story? Do you ever tell a “white” lie? For example, if someone asks if you like their hair or what they are wearing, you say you do even when you don’t because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are human. Lying is part of this human experience. It is part of this journey to teach and wake us up to the truth.  However, this is not giving people permission to lie. Lying is extremely toxic and causes much pain, hurt, harm and unhealthy patterns. 

Truth is essential. It is required to making a change. Where do we begin? 

• Start by getting honest with yourself.  If you really want to make a change, don’t sabotage yourself by not being honest with you. For instance, if you want a better relationship, you need to start with getting honest about what is really happening. Don’t sweep long-standing patterns under the rug. Get courageous and face what you have put off. 
• Write or talk about the truth. Have you been asked to keep secrets? It’s vital you share the secret with a safe person like a counselor in order to work through it and begin releasing it. Secrets are toxic and can eat away at you causing unnecessary stress and anxiety. It’s time to let it out, process through it and heal. 
• Be mindful of how you communicate your truth. Speaking your truth with love and grace will bring more freedom and peace. Telling people whatever you think without a filter is not speaking your truth – it is just mean. It’s important to think about how you want to share your feelings or what you think before you speak it.
• Lean into the discomfort. Change is sometimes uncomfortable. You might be afraid to face the truth. Do the opposite of what you normally do. Don’t run away from it. Face it and trust it will lead you on the road to healing and becoming more of who you are.

-Kristen D Boice M.A., LMFT, EMDR Trained

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